Three Things That Drive Me Nuts in Actualplays

 It's been ages since I did a clickbait, hot-take, rant.  

Lately, I've been listening to even more APs than usual. Most are wonderful, entertaining and inspiring but it turns out I am a picky listener and certain things I hear just ejector-seat me right out of the fiction whenever I come across them.  I've already talked about tieflings and pun names and edgelords. That's not what I'm going to complain about today. Today I want to talk about 3 Anachronisms that somehow manage to become the pimple-on-the-face of whatever I'm listening to.  In order from bad to worst, they are:

1: GLASS WINDOWS:

A quasi-fantasy world should not have glass windows for the same reason they shouldn't have mechanical pencils... these things just weren't around in the actual middle ages (upon which most fantasy I listen to is based). Yes there was leaded glass - windows of this material existed, but were small and rare. The other exception is the stained glass window. Those certainly existed but were so expensive as to only really be found in churches. Because this technology sort of existed in the medieval world, I'll designate this offensive anachronism as "least bad".

2: "OK"

Characters should not say "OK". I was writing script the other day, and I wanted to write that an NPC had "lost what was left of their cool" but I stopped and went back and changed it to "lost what was left of their composure". The idiom of "losing one's cool" was just too modern. It would've sounded weird.  To be honest, if you scratch the surface, there are a lot of words and phrases that should be avoided because they were coined in modernity, but at some point we have to just accept the inconsistencies and even hypocrisies of fantasy. Still, "OK" ... is not OK.

3: THE RAPIER

I don't know why this one bugs me the most. It is anachronistic - rapiers did not appear historically until the late fifteenth century. But you know, it's not the anachronism that bothers me... I think it's a correlation I feel exists between "characters with rapiers" and "players with 'Main Character Syndrome'" ... is it just me? Maybe. But the character with a rapier is very likely, I feel, to be either an edgelord or a joke character who speaks with loud blustering bravado and possible wears a floppy crushed velvet cap.

"OK". Rant over. And it feels good to get it out. 

So, what bugs you? What are some things that you can't stand in APs?

A quick Note About Monster v Monster Encounters

 Without spoiling, the latest episode requires the use of a ruling to allow monsters who can only be hit by magical weapons to face off against other monsters. I used the rule from AD&D that says in the case of monsters, sufficient Hit Dice enable them to attack immune creatures as if they were fighting with magical weapons. 

Table 48 lists various numbers of Hit Dice and their magical weapon equivalents.

Shownotes for Episode 56 (S3E56)

Theme      Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome      148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO              Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Combat     Miguel Johnson Good Day to Die https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_k-RQA7lBE

Some  FX    https://www.zapsplat.com

Shownotes for Episode 55 (S3E55)

Theme  Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome  148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO          Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Part 3b  Lunar Years, Event Horizon https://www.bensound.com/royalty-free-music/track/event-horizon-epic-cinematic

Some  FX https://www.zapsplat.com

Shownotes for Episode 54 (S3E54)

Theme  Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome  148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO          Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Some  FX https://www.zapsplat.com

There's a New OSitD-Inspired Game in Town

 This one is "rules-extra-crispy" but the basis of the engine is OSitD, with freeform mapping and the like.  If you like Shadowrun and have ever wondered, "could Shadowrun OSitD?" then give this game a try:

Hangin' Out With Brian From Swords vs Madness

Yesterday I got to spend the afternoon talking all things pod and rpg with the creator of Swords vs Madness. Brian has a lot of irons in the fire, including building and managing the SRPN website (that's the Solo Roleplayers Network) that we launched a year ago. 

Was Not Expecting This...

 Well, this is a surprise! Number 1 for the week!

Goodpods Top 100 Leisure Indie Podcasts Listen now to Tale of The Manticore, a Dark Fantasy Du
ngeons & Dragons Audiodrama podcast

Shownotes for Episode 53 (S3E53)

Theme  Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome  148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO          Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Dramatis         RPG SOUNDS #1506 “Realization”

Some  FX https://www.zapsplat.com

Fantastic New Listener Art!

 These are by Jay Bills, and I just love the vibrant, joyful energy.  That first picture of Achillea practically leaps off the page.  SO GOOD!

See more of Jay's work right here.

Shownotes for Episode 52 (S3E52)

Theme  Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome  148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO          Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Some  FX https://www.zapsplat.com

Shownotes for S3E51b Interview With Tana Pigeon

Theme   Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Some  FX https://www.zapsplat.com

Shownotes for Episode 51 (S3E51)

Theme  Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome  148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO          Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Some  FX https://www.zapsplat.com

Inspirations for Mirror Lake

 It was in June of 2025 that I went to Calgary to attend AardCon. While there, I took a side trip to Banff to visit the iconic Lake Louise. One look and I knew it had to go into the show, but couldn't call it 'Lake Louise'.... so I used the name of a second, smaller lake I hiked to: Mirror Lake. The place in the story is basically an amalgamation of the two spots.

Shownotes for Episode 50 (S3E50)

Theme  Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome  148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO          Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Some  FX https://www.zapsplat.com

*The vocalist for Aiyamee's song is the incredible Sienna J.

Listen to Sienna J on TikTok

Introducing: Corporate Saboteur

 There's a new solo game in town.  Brought to you by Crit Dreggae, Corporate Saboteur is a solo journaling RPG about workplace revenge, moral limits, and controlled chaos. Through prompts and dice rolls, players chronicle small acts of rebellion inside a fictional corporate machine, exploring the blurry line between survival, sabotage, and conscience.

I can honestly say I have never seen anything like it before - and it gives me Office Space vibes in the best way. If you'd like to check it out, you can get a copy right here.

Shownotes for 'The Wretched' & Episode 49 (S3E49)

Bonus Episode 'The Wretched'

Theme         Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

49

Theme         Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome     148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO             Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Some FX     https://www.zapsplat.com

I'm off-grid for the next 4 weeks

 Well, not really off-grid, but I will not be checking email or socials regularly as I travel in South America for the next month or so.  Episodes are automated to release on my altered schedule: Feb 15th & March 1rst.  When I get back I will resume the usual 3/month schedule.

Hasta luego,

Jon

Discussing Dispel Magic

 A little while back, Achillea acquired the 3rd level Magic User spell, Dispel Magic during a level up segment.  She got it through a random roll, but the implications of this turn of fate were immediately significant.  Could she just... dispel the magic on Aldvay and reverse his petrifaction?  If so, the story would be more or less over.  I'm sure I choked on my coffee a bit when this occurred to me, but after a moment's consideration, I understood that no, this is not something this spell could do. Story saved.

But let's talk a bit about why this is so, without getting into 'angels on the head of a pin' territory.  The Expert rules say the spell removes 'spell effects' cast by a magic user.  So, a definition of 'effects' is in order.  If a Disintegrate spell kills a villager, the effect might be that the villager is dead - clearly Dispel Magic will not bring Farmer Joe back to life.

I think the crux of any argument has to be: is the magic still there? And here's where it gets tricky. A Wall of Fire? Can be dispelled.  An active Levitation spell? Can be dispelled. Petrifaction? Well, we have to know if the newly created stone is magical or not. I would argue it is not. A quick look online shows that the community is split on this and I learned that in 5e, there's a window of opportunity in which a Dispel Magic will work, but after a minute or so, the effect is considered permanent.

So for me, Achillea's choice not to risk ending her quest to go home and risk failure is justified (she would have failed). It's a bonus that it didn't ruin the plot, but I do think the ruling is sound. 

Do you have thoughts? Share in the comments below :) 

ONE MILLION DOWNLOADS!!

 

It finally happened: TOTM has been downloaded more than one million times. It's such a big number that my brain cannot fully comprehend the size, but I can tell you one thing: it feels great! Considering the recent disaster with my SSD, this is just what I needed to pick myself up off the ground and get to work restoring the lost episodes.

Thanks to everyone who helped make this dream come true!

Shownotes for Episode 48

Theme         Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome     148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO             Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Dramatis     RPG SOUNDS #1506 “Realization”

Some FX     https://www.zapsplat.com

Critical Hit: I Am Down to 1 Hit Point

 Extreme bad luck struck this month when my SSD hard drive suddenly died.  My backup was fairly recent but did not save very much.  Luckily, all scripts and music - the irreplaceable stuff - was saved.  All told, I lost about 100-120 hours of work, including four completed, yet-to-be-released episodes and another 8 partials.  I'm currently in rebuild mode but the amount lost means I will not be able to keep my normal release schedule.  I'll try to get episode 48 out on time, but then I will have to release some bonus content as a stop-gap. I'll do that on Feb 15. On March 1 I will try to resume my usual schedule with episode 49.  It has been a difficult thing to come to terms with, but quitting is not an option, so it's time to roll up my sleaves and get to work.

(There's also some good news coming - but I'll save that for now, and announce it in episode 48.)

Shownotes for Episode 47

Theme  Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome  148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO          Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Combat A Intense Action Background Music – Argsound https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMziMXYkVS0

Combat B Epic Intense Battle Music_Battle for the Future AHOAMI https://tunetank.com/track/755-battle-for-the-future/

Part 2 B SoundImage.org Misty Bog https://soundimage.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Misty-Bog_remixed.mp3

Some  FX https://www.zapsplat.com

The Bloom: Custom Monster (SPOILER!)

Don't Read Past Here if you Haven't Listened to Episode 46 

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A HUGE thank you to Friendly Mike for the delicious artwork!

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The Bloom

Armor Class: 15

Hit Dice: 5 hp per tendril (50), 1 hp main body

Move: see below

No. of Attacks: 10

Damage: 1-6 and see below

No. Appearing: 1/unique monster

Save As: Fighter 10

Morale: Morale is equal to the number of remaining tendrils x 2

(Original Artwork by Friendly Mike)

The Bloom is a unique magical creature that exists in – and in some ways is part of – the Crystalwood. It is composed of a delicate body, and 10 vine-like tendrils.

The body is extremely delicate, so vulnerable that is has no Armor Class and can sustain only a single point of damage before being destroyed. It resembles a membranous sac with luminescent flecks floating around in the fluid inside. This sack is buried a foot underground and would be almost impossible to find were it not for the enormous flowers, bone-white stippled with light blue that grow above ground over top it. These flowers are most strange to look upon for in addition to their enormous size – with each flower being 1-3 feet in diameter – each has, in its centre, a rolling eyeball, ranging from acorn to fist-sized.

The Bloom can cast a version of the druidic spell Pass Plant at will. Although the main body cannot move, using this power, it may cause its tendrils to appear anywhere in the Crystalwood at any time.

The Bloom has ten tendrils that come in two types. Eight are thick and thorn covered. They lash, bludgeon and tear at their opponents, each one striking with the force of a mace for 1-6 points of damage.

The other 2 tendrils are covered in white blossoms patterned with light blue, each blossom has an eye, the size of a human eye, at its centre. These tendrils have no physical attack, but they can puff out a small cloud of pollen at a single opponent each round. This pollen will, if the victim fails a saving throw vs poison, cause them to hallucinate (see table below).

Both types of tendrils have a high Armor Class of 15, due to their speed and because they can attack from any direction, then withdraw and reappear from from somewhere else. Tendrils of either variety have 5 hit points.

The Bloom attacks by shooting all of its tendrils at once and all from different locations. For each tendril still intact, the Bloom attacks with a +1 (therefore in the first round of combat it has +10 to hit). For each tendril that is destroyed, this bonus is reduced by 1 point. When it has lost its fifth tendril, the Bloom will begin making morale checks and will continue to do so every time another tendril is destroyed. Moral checks are made by counting the number of remaining tendrils and multiplying that number by 2.

The Bloom can regrow severed tendrils at a rate of one per day.

The Bloom cannot be surprised except by invisible creatures.

Hallucinatory Effects from Spores (roll 1d8)*

1 =Individual in a swamp-strips off armor to keep from sinking.

2 = Spiders attacking-individual strikes/attacks floor area to kill them.

3=lndividual hasshrunk-shoutsfor helptoreturntonormalsize.

4 =Item held is a viper-individual drops it and leaps back to avoid its attack.

5 =Individual is suffocating-runs gasping in random directions to breathe.

6 =Associates are diseased-individual avoids coming within 10 feet of them.

7 = Individual is melting-stands howling and "holding self together."

8 =Leech on back-individual tears off anything worn on back and attacks it.

*Effects last 1-4 rounds. Once a person has suffered a hallucination, they are immune to the effects of the Bloom's pollen for one full day.

Shownotes for Episode 46

Theme          Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome      148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO              Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Some  FX     https://www.zapsplat.com

The 12 Days of Kitbash Part 2

 Here's the 2nd half of my annual 12 Days of Kitbash. Let's get right int it!

On Day 7, I made a gang of rowdy gnolls.  I think there were 8 or 9 of them in the batch. I used real mixed media for these: Fimo, green stuff, acetone plastic and other things like toothpicks and thread. Some came out well... others are a bit messed up looking.

On Day 8 I made this Dementor wraith thing. This is an easy build that looks pretty good. Wire armature and toilet paper mache. The claws were fimo... or green stuff.. I can't quite recall.

On Day 9 I scratch built this Giant Forest Troll. Green stuff and wire armature. I tried to get some anatomical details right, but one nice thing about trolls is that they are kind of lumpy anyway. Turned out OK... but even working with a bigger model, details are so hard to achieve.

On Day 10 I decided to switch it up and do a terrain piece. I used a chocolate mold for the skulls - with air dry clay. Actually the whole thing is air dry clay. Not sure how useful this is, but it looks decent.

Day 11 was for a trio of cursed wraiths. These came out a bit worse than I thought they would.  The oyumaru mold captured good details, but when I cut them out, the edges were all messed up and bubbly. Fimo would've been a better choice... live and learn. (The second wraith from the right in the last photo is the original model, btw.)

Today is the last day and I am coming back home with - more skeletons. I am on a mission to get these right. And you know, I came closer than ever in getting good results.  Of the 8 I made, 4 are really good looking. A few are awful and will be relegated to the rear ranks. Mixed medium again, but this time I molded each piece separately.  For many of the very thin bits, I used paper clips. Slap some glue on them and they can pass for bones.  In the 'bits' photo, the orange one is the 3D printed figure I took apart and used as my model.

And that's all she wrote for the Twelve Days of Kitbash, Year 3!

A Bit More About Naachuu

 Naachuu is a character I had been sitting on for ages before she finally made an appearance.  Back at FanExpo 2024 (before S3 even began), I ran an art contest. The best portrait drawings of fantasy characters would get a spot in the upcoming season.  One of the best was a little bug-eyed elfin thing called Nacho.  

Well, I wasn't about to put a character named Nacho in the show, but I liked the idea of a Naachuu (Not-You) because it fit the theme of identity (or rather, the search for it) I intended to explore and develop.

Here's the original picture. 

Naachuu Art!!

 Amanda T, who voices Naachuu, is a seriously talented artist. Her version of the gnomish librarian improves upon what I had in my imagination. 

It's just awesome!

Check out her Insta here.

Shownotes for Episode 45

Theme          Enchiridion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NkG3bhIxU

Welcome      148 Barovian Castle https://tabletopaudio.com/

LTO              Scott Buckley Legionnaire https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwW0vFUCz

Some  FX     https://www.zapsplat.com